


When Tomorrow Comes

by twilymeeks



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Gary needs help and he knows it, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post Season 2, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, THANK YOU CARDS WITH GARY FOR INSPIRING ME, Team Squad, This is set during that timeskip??? I guess, a trigger warning...as this does discuss depression and mental health in heavy detail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilymeeks/pseuds/twilymeeks
Summary: Gary's mind has been against him for as long as he could remember. Withdrawn from the anti-depressants he'd taken during his time on the Galaxy One, his mental health slowly begins to decline. But just how long can he hide this from the team squad before they begin to take notice? Well, not exactly in the way he hopes.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 110





	1. The Sounds Of Glass

**Day 753**

**He could feel himself breaking away.**

All of a sudden, his body has become lighter. It took his breath away, the lights and the warm air that surrounded the Galaxy One. He felt it all from the tips of his fingers to the soles of his feet, consuming him whole in the best way possible. This sense of freedom was impeccable, and he couldn’t help but become mesmerized by what surrounded him. The knowledge of the end result, the scraping of metal on the walls--it felt almost like something in a dream.

Yet, he couldn’t figure out why he was crying. 

This was happiness, right? Happiness was serotonin building up inside of you, and exposure to emotions of overwhelming happiness obviously increased this. It was something HUE has discussed with him, saying he didn’t really get enough of it. And to Gary, that was complete balony. Him, not being _ happy enough _? If anything, HUE probably never understood him enough. 

Gary Goodspeed is _ always _ happy. Gary Goodspeed has never had a single problem in his life, not a single thing that could tear him apart. HUE was just a robot, a stupid robot who was programmed to keep an eye on him because he did something wrong. He wouldn’t understand who he was no matter how much he’d try. Robots can’t understand human emotion, more proof to Gary that HUE would never be able to know who he truly was. 

Suddenly, he heard a noise. The noise emitted into nothing but static, incomprehensible to Gary. It reminded him of the television in his room as a kid, when television were quite smaller than they were in the present, with their antennae and foggy resolutions. He’d always watch saturday morning cartoons on it, bringing a bowl of cereal that would become soggy by the time Gary had noticed. He’d always be reminded by his father to-

_ His father. _

The static grew louder, screeching with no will to falter. It couldn’t interrupt his happiness, could it? Gary Goodspeed has no problems. Gary Goodspeed is _ not _ bleeding. **Gary Goodspeed was okay, Gary Goodspeed ** ** _is_ ** ** okay.**

**ɢᴀʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅsᴘᴇᴇᴅ ɪs ᴏᴋᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀʀᴍᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟғ, ᴇᴠᴇʀ**.

_But that would be a lie, wouldn’t it?_

-

Gary would never get tired of looking at the outskirts of space. Each star was unique--shining a light of its own in a vast universe. It distracted him from when his thoughts began to turn on him, and it gave him a sense of peace. At least, when they weren’t on the verge of death. Now, the outskirts he’d look at often were a crevice of dead bodies. Bodies that resembled himself, each one taken to a cruel fate. There were some with severed limbs, remnants of organs floating in _ all sorts _ of directions, and the color sucked from their skin. Gary wasn’t sure why the sight of the bodies didn't faze him as much as the others, but the thought of ending up like that put a shiver up his spine. But at the same time, that part of his mind he absolutely hated didn’t mind that fate. It would always creep upon him, speaking in a static tone that would drive him to complete insanity. And that’s how it used to be--but it seemed that he could tolerate that voice much more than he could in the past. The voice had become louder over the past few weeks, but not to a point where he couldn’t handle it.

He was fine now, _ wasn’t he _? He was holding on quite well, despite all the events that came forth. There was no medication on the Crimson Light in the first place, and even if there were, it didn’t seem like he needed it anymore either. He was holding on pretty fine without, so what’s the point if there’s really no need for it? And besides, there were a lot of people helping him out in all sorts of ways, to which he couldn’t help but feel grateful. Being with this small family made him feel all sorts of warm feelings inside, and thinking about it, he couldn’t help but smile. That happiness didn;t exactly last long, as a wave a fatigue hit him like a truck. He let out a yawn, and flopped onto his bed. 

_ When was the last time I’ve gotten decent sleep? _

The thought was clouded by the desire to rest, and Gary closed his eyes, trying to at least get a wink of sleep his way. 

…

**Not happening.**

Sleep felt so out of reach. The world was weighing down on him in all sorts of ways but of all the things it couldn’t give him, it had to be sleep. Stretching his arms out, he got up out of bed and walked through the halls of the Crimson LIght. The halls were sleek, yet simple. This truly was the luxury of a true piloting vessel. Not that it wasn’t as impressive as the ones of the Infinity Guard, but the price of the vessel itself must’ve cost tens of thousands of dollars. He opened the doors to the mess hall, and picked up a glass from the cupboard. Pouring water into the glass, he sat down, forced to look at the array of bodies that floated throughout his scope of vision.

_ Sip. _

He could feel himself being sucked into the water’s grasp like a whirlpool.

_ Sip. _

His eyes moved from the bodies to the glass. 

_ Sip. _

Every Gary died because in the end, weren’t these Gary’s weak? Could he end up like them?

_ Sip. _

Finally, he had finished the glass. He placed the glass in the sink, and didn’t even look back at the bodies with a second thought. The nightly routine had been completed once again.

He wasn’t really used to holding glass that often anymore. Generally anything sharp was confiscated from him by HUE. And in a way, he’d understood why a little better. But at the same time, it was something he wished he were oblivious to. 

**The thought of that ‘why’ gave him more chills than the sights outside ever could**.

-

“🅶🅰🆁🆈, 🅸’🅼 🅰🅲🆃🅸🆅🅰🆃🅸🅽🅶 🅼🆈 🅲🆁🅸🆂🅸🆂 🅿🆁🅴🆅🅴🅽🆃🅸🅾🅽 🅿🆁🅾🆃🅾🅲🅰🅻. 🅿🅻🅴🅰🆂🅴 🆁🅴🅲🅾🅽🆂🅸🅳🅴🆁..” 

The static voice was nothing. It meant nothing, and it would do nothing for him. The voice was useless, pathetic, powerful, towering against him and choking him to his last breath. His chest heaved and burned and was filled to the brim with bitterness that left him restless and begging to be set free. But Gary Goodspeed was okay, right? Gary Goodspeed was always happy and _ not _ having a panic attack, Gary was _ not _ panicking, he was not losing himself and he was alright and everything was going _ just fine _ in his life and he was not bleeding at all, _ he didn’t want everything to end but it had to, he had to die and he wanted to die _ ** _oh so badly_ ** _ because it was all his fault and maybe if he weren’t such a _ ** _mistake_ ** _ his father wouldn’t have- _

Hands of metal grabbed him tightly, and he struggled and wrigged as hard as he could but the grip was too strong for him to even try.

"🆃🅷🅸🆂 🅸🆂 🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆃🅷🅸🆁🅳 🅰🆃🆃🅴🅼🅿🆃 🆃🅷🅸🆂 🅼🅾🅽🆃🅷, 🅶🅰🆁🆈. 🆃🅷🅴 🆂🅰🅼🅴🆂 🅰🆁🅴 🅶🅾🅸🅽🅶 🆃🅾 🅷🅰🆅🅴 🆃🅾 🆃🅴🅽🅳 🆃🅾 🆈🅾🆄🆁 🆆🅾🆄🅽🅳🆂 🅰🅶🅰🅸🅽."

One SAME had come with a mop in hand, ordered to wipe the floor of Gary’s room once again. It was a command the SAMES had gotten used to. Considering Gary’s condition, it wasn’t a surprise to them _ or _HUE.

**The stained glass on the marble floor spoke volumes within itself.**

  
  



	2. Familiar

**Day 97**

【Ｇａｒｙ， Ｉ＇ｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕｒ ａｔｔｅｍｐｔｓ ｔｏ ａｖｏｉｄ ｍｙ ｐｒｏｇｒｅｓｓ ｒｅｐｏｒｔｓ．】

HUE’s metallic tone was bitter as he voiced his concerns to Gary. Gary groaned, and scrunched his face. Progress reports were like, the dumbest freakin’ thing he’s ever heard of. They were only for the kinds of prisoners who were practically nutcases, and Gary Goodspeed, who would one day be the inevitable captain of this ship, had no need for a progress report in any fashion.

“They’re freakin’ dumb, HUE.” Gary replied.

“Progress reports are for crazy people, and I for one am _ far _ from crazy.” 

【Ｈｏｗ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｙｏｕ ｄｅｆｉｎｅ ｉｎｓａｎｉｔｙ， Ｇａｒｙ？】

Gary scrunched his face up. He’d already told HUE this, wasn’t he _ supposed _ to get the memo already? He was an AI. He was supposed to be smart, not ask the same questions to him over and over again.

“Duh! Like, straightjackets and murderers! Crap, it’s like putting the Joker in a spaceship and asking him what his favorite color is.” Gary responded, aggravated.

【Ｔｈａｔ ｉｓ ｑｕｉｔｅ ａｎ ｉｎｔｅｒｅｓｔｉｎｇ ａｎａｌｙｓｉｓ． Ｄｏ ｙｏｕ ｋｎｏｗ ｗｈｙ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｄｏ ｔｈｉｓ， Ｇａｒｙ？】

“It because you guys put some stupid freakin’ diagnosis on my head that’s not even true!” Gary replied.

【Ｔｈｅｒｅ ｗｅｒｅ ｎｏ ｌｉｅｓ ｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｔｒａｎｓｃｒｉｐｔ， Ｇａｒｙ． Ｙｏｕ ｗｅｒｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｖｉｅｗｅｄ ｂｙ ａ ｐｓｙｃｈｏｌｏｇｉｓｔ， ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｙ ｃｏｎｆｉｒｍｅｄ ｙｏｕｒ ｄｉａｇｎｏｓｉｓ． Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｆｏｏｔａｇｅ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｅｎｔｉｒｅ ｉｎｔｅｒｖｉｅｗ ｉｆ ｙｏｕ＇ｄ ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｔ．】

At that moment, Gary went silent. He wanted to prove HUE wrong so badly, but in the end, the evidence was there. He wasn’t _ crazy _, right? He wasn’t some cold-blooded psychopath who’s head was in all sorts of directions. 

**He wasn’t, right?**

-

**Another sleepless night on the Crimson Light.**

He’d just finished drinking a glass of water from the same cabinet in the same section, following his nightly routine. At this point, he’d become so used to it that if he felt any sort of heavy insomnia, he’d immediately just go to the mess hall and grab a glass of water, and in some instances, he’d sit there for a few minutes staring at the walls. Was there nothing better for him to do? Well, there were lots of things he could do, but the guilt of waking anyone up just because he had a hard time sleeping was a thought that hammered into his head constantly. So in the end, all he really did was sit there. 

He looked at the floor again, and blinked. This reminded him of something, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on it. He puffed his cheeks, trying to remember what exactly the floor seemed so familiar to him. This wasn’t the same kind of floor used on the Galaxy One, far from it. The material looked much smoother and polished, while the floor of the Galaxy One looked just a tad bit worn down. Of all the things he had to fixate on, it was something he couldn’t even remember. He groaned, and buried his head in his knees.

“**Gary**?”

Gary’s head whipped towards the door, and a figure appeared as the door to the mess hall opened.

“I didn’t think I’d find you here.” HUE said, slowly walking towards Gary.

Gary puffed his cheeks a bit, knowing the direction the conversation would begin to turn. HUE would obviously begin to ask him questions about why he was up late, what was running through his mind, all sorts of nonsense that he’d bug him about on the Galaxy One.

“Do you mind if it sit next to you?” He asked.

Not the response he was expecting. Gary nodded, and HUE scooted down next to him. Gary rubbed the palm of his hand with his thumb, and stared down at it. The silence in the room was quite awkward for Gary to endure, and he bit his lip. After a few minutes, it was HUE who broke the silence.

“Gary, is it strange to look at yourself constantly every day?” HUE said.

“Uh, of course. They’re all me--and they’re freakin’_ dead _.” Gary replied.

“Of course it’s creepy to see dead versions of yourself!”

“Just wondering. You didn’t seem that fazed about them. Perhaps your focus was on Quinn, then?”

Gary smiled softly. Quinn. After all this time, after all the hardships him and the others have had to go through, he’d finally gotten Quinn back. The person he loved was finally back, even though the chances of getting her were becoming slimmer and slimmer with time. But at the same time, his mind wandered to loss. What if he lost Quinn again? What if Avocato died again, and they couldn’t bring him back? That voice began to play in his head like a broken record--incomprehensible, a voice that couldn’t be reasoned with. He could feel the pounding of his heart in his ears, each breath becoming harder to grasp. He pinched his arm, the existing bruise formed there aching as each pinch increased the pain. His mind began to race and every doubt he had hammered in his mind-

-**until HUE put a hand on his shoulder**.

“_Gary, you’re panicking again_.”

Suddenly, every thought blanked out, washing away in an instant, he looked at HUE, who’s metal hand left a cool sensation on his shoulder. Gary didn’t make any attempts to respond, all he could do was sit there next to HUE, and glance at the bodies outside. This silence, this tension, this fear...it all reminded him of something.

**And then it hit him.**

-

**Five Years Ago**

**He could hear the scribbles of the therapist’s pen.**

Her personality was hardened, serious and straight-forward. It reminded him of Quinn, and yet he couldn’t shake the nerves away from him. He knew how this sort of thing was going to go, and he couldn’t help but feel the dread weighing on his shoulders.

“So Gary, tell me about your family.” The woman asked.

Crap. What family was there to talk about? I mean, it’s not like he had one. His dad was gone, his mom was _ god knows _ where, and he didn’t really have any siblings. He preferred not to talk about them anyways, it made his stomach twist into knots and would knock all the breath from his lungs.

“Well, why don’t you tell me about _ your _ family, missy?” Gary responded.

_ Totally going well. We’re totally acing this, right? _

The woman gave him a glare, and scribbled quickly into her notebook.

He could see the words written on the paper from the corner of his eye, and his heart stopped immediately.

_ Family-Related Trauma. _

  * _Side note: This one clearly ain’t well._

**Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap-**

He was far from acing this. Was there something wrong with him? There had to be something wrong with him if the woman made that kind of assumption about him. He was crazy--being lumped in with the crazy people in the movies. His heart began to pound his ears began to ring out, he was fidgeting his fingers like crazy.

“_ S-She’s right, I’m not well at all… _” He muttered.

**Wait...crap.**

The woman gave him a glare. She’d heard that whisper, That whole whisper. Gary let out a forced chuckle, and the woman sighed.

“Gary, I need you to give me an honest answer. Have you _ ever _ thought of ending your own life?” She said.

_Make something up, make something up._

“Haha, I mean...who _ doesn’t _, right?” Gary replied.

The woman’s face scrunched up as she scribbled in the notebook even more, a spot of concern visibly on her face.

“Have you harmed yourself in any way?” The woman asked, her voice becoming more stern.

“Yes--I mean **NO**, I mean, why don’t you tell me if _you’re_ harming yourself?” Gary said, hsi words jumbling all over the place.

‘Isn’t existing in itself harming ourselves? Haha…”

The woman looked him in the eyes, and Gary could feel his heart stop. She scribbled another note, and put her pen and notepad down. Her expression had become softer, yet the tinge of seriousness was still present.

“Gary, you _clearly_ are showing signs of PTSD.” The woman said.

“Uh, I have no idea why you’d come to that bogus conclusion. I for one, have not felt a _single_ symptom at all.” Gary replied.

“Gary, you have it. All the signs are there.” The woman replied back, frustration in her voice.

“I do not.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Nuh-uh, _ no way _.”

The conversation went to a standstill. A pit had formed in Gary’s stomach, and he could feel the color drain from his face. He looked up, and saw the woman’s face softened to one of empathy, pity.

“I—I’m _ sorry _...ma’am.”

He could feel the woman’s glare soften. The tension began to die down, and the woman gave him a sympathetic answer in return.

“**Gary...you have nothing to be sorry for**.”


	3. Postponed

_ The sound of sobbing echoed through the room. _

“ **Gary, everything is going to be okay.** ”

Was he crying? No, it _ couldn’t  _ have been him, no way. But why were his cheeks so wet, and his chest so tight? Someone was holding his hand, while the other was rubbing his eyes in an attempt to make the tears stop. Everything in the room sounded like white noise, and yet he couldn’t understand why the environment had become so overwhelming to him--was it because of what the woman had said to him? Did those words break the walls he worked so hard to build? All he knew was that it hurt. It hurt his heart, it hurt everywhere. He was okay, the woman knew nothing about him. She knew absolutely nothing about him, and she’d never know in a million years how he felt. The lights in the room were blinding him, he couldn't seem to focus on a single thing. All he could hear was the sound of sobbing.

_ The sound of shattering. _

-

It had been about two hours since HUE had come into the room. Silence covered the room, so much so that you could hear even the smallest speck of dust drop to the floor. Gary could hear his heartbeat steadily slowing to a balanced rate, and the hairs stand up on his skin as his arm brushed upon HUE’s metallic exterior. 

“Do you come here often, Gary?” HUE asked.

“Kinda.” Gary replied.

“It’s like I’m hypnotized to come here, like my body’s a freakin’  _ puppet  _ or something!”

“I can see why you’d come here. Besides the sight outside.” HUE replied back.

HUE was right. The sight outside wasn’t exactly pretty. Considering the large amount of corpses outside, it wasn’t something someone would enjoy staring at, especially if those corpses were of yourself. He wasn't exactly certain why he’d kept coming back here, but it felt somewhat familiar to him in a way. Looking at the corpses sent a shiver down his spine, and he looked away. He wondered what the lives of each alternate Gary was like. Based on the uniforms they were wearing, it was obvious that they achieved what he couldn’t--getting into the Infinity Guard. Were each Gary’s parents still together? How long did they know Quinn? The questions ran through his mind just as quickly as they left it. He could feel the room getting colder, and he stood up, stretching both of his arms. He could feel the presence of someone, although he wasn’t sure whether it was HUE or just his imagination. He opened the door, and looked both ways. As he was about to close the doors, he let out a yawn, and remembered his lingering fatigue. The sleepless nights he’d been having were finally beginning to catch up to him.

“You know HUE? I think I’m going to clock out for tonight.” Gary said.

“The bags in your eyes say much more than you think.” HUE replied.

“I can tell this isn’t the only might you’ve had trouble sleeping. Perhaps I can postpone my report until tomorrow?”

Gary grumbled a bit, but in the end, it was a fair deal after all. 

“Fiiiine. We’ll do it tomorrow.” Gary groaned.

“Get off my cheeks, Gary.” HUE replied, a tint of sass in his voice.

Gary couldn’t help but crack a soft smile, and left to his room.

But, the aura of that smile was easily washed away by the expression of another. Luminous, full of curiosity. The figure couldn’t help but sigh, and furrowed his brows.

If only there were some way he could understand Gary’s feelings.  _ His own feelings _ .

His memory was still quite fogged up, and there were things he was still trying to make sense out of.

**But what mattered was the present, and he needed to act on it the best he could.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to ramp up a little! The next chapter will be back to the usual length, as this chapter is setting up what's to come! Thanks for being patient I hope you guys are looking forward to the next chapter!


	4. Late Nights and A Catfight

** _What were the kind of feelings he couldn’t ignore?_ **

Avocato’s ear twitched as he lay on his mattress, grunting. He clearly heard most of that conversation between HUE and Gary. There was clearly something going on, right? Something that Gary refused to tell anyone, and something that peaked his curiosity. That familiar feeling in his stomach, that dark, empty pit had come back again. It plagued him every few nights, and it was something he just couldn’t shake off. Even after everything that had happened, everything still felt quite fuzzy to Avocato. There were days where everything seemed as if it were all just a dream, that what he was living was nothing more than just a mere memory. He could still be dead for all he knew. Maybe his mind was tricking him, thinking that everything around him was nothing more than an illusion. But deep down, he knew that this was far from some crazy illusion. This was reality, and a strange one at that. He had all his memories, yet everything felt...awkward. Not just for him, but there was a small amount of tension in the air. Although it was greatly overpowered by the iron will of the crew, a sense of uneasiness plagued them. Perhaps it was the fact that they were stuck in Final Space, danger lurking wherever they went. Nothing had attacked them now, but the possibility of it happening had the crew and Avocato himself alert. 

Gary seemed to be acting different as well. In the time between his demise and the present, a bunch of things must’ve happened for him to see Gary this off. He seems more mature yet...there was something he couldn’t put his on until he’d heard that conversation. Walking the halls of the Crimson Light and hearing something like that? It seemed a bit nosy of him to listen in, and yet he had zero regrets of doing so. There way  _ no way _ that Avocato could approach him about this currently. There were so many other things for them to worry about, especially regarding a certain crew member’s health. No matter what, this was a matter that had to be kept out of the limelight. He could feel his fur standing on it’s ends thinking about it, and threw a pillow onto the cold, matte floor, taking some of his stress with it. It was useless thinking about something like this so late at night, considering the situation the crew was currently in. All he could do was stare at the empty, corpse-filled body of Final Space.

_ After all, was there really anything he could do? _

_ His son’s been stolen from him, they’re all stuck in some titan-infested dimension, his son’s been taken from him-- _ ** _wait, what?_ **

Avocato’s expression turned sour. Where did that thought even come from in the first place? He’d never had that thought cross his mind before. 

“ **Man, this shit’s the ** ** _worst_ ** .”

Everyone’s changed. He wasn’t sure of what happened during his absence, but the thought couldn’t help but be persistent. Gary, Quinn, all these new folk, even his own son changed in the blink of an eye.

** _He wonders if he could catch up._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I said this would be longer but turns out it was just as short as last time! I swear, I can never keep up a promise...at least it's out! I don't write Avocato's character often so this put me in a bit of a corner. I'm so used to writing Gary that writing anyone else feels a bit alien. Gary's POV will be back next chapter, along with other characters too! Thank you all for waiting so patiently for this chapter!


End file.
